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Bengali
Wedding
The
Bengali wedding is a happy and colorful family occasion where
tradition and age old customs play an important role.
The
geographical location of Bengal is on the coast of Bay of Bengal
and the union of Ganges and her tributaries reflects its presence
in its culture and in the wedding ceremonies.
Fish
is an essential food item in the wedding main course menu and
ceremonies. The coral and the conch too enjoy their own status.
Bengali weddings are generally held at night - Godhuli Lagna (literally
translated means 'when the cows come home!')
The engagement
It is a gathering of both families with an emphasis on the exchange
of gifts, discussions, negotiations and the fixing the date for
the marriage. The engagement ceremony is not a religious function
and priest is not required. The elders bless the couple by showering
them with dhaan (husked rice) and dooba (three bladed grass).
Al
Buddo Bhaat
The bride's last meal as a maiden in her parental home.
The Al Buddo Bhaat celebrates the last meal of the daughter in
her parental home. The bride's mother prepares a feast of Bengali
delicacies for her daughter, which is shared by the extended family
and friends.
Gai
Halood / Haldi Uptan
Anointing the bride and groom.
The Gai Halood takes place early in the morning of the wedding
day. The groom is anointed with a paste of turmeric and scented
oils. It is an intimate function filled with fun and laughter,
where his relatives, especially the girls, ruthlessly tease the
groom!
The
same paste is then sent across to the bride's home for her Gai
Halood ceremony. Before sunrise, on the wedding day, the bride
is fed Dahi Mangal (natural yogurt), after which she fasts until
the marriage ceremony is over.
The
blowing of the conch, signals the arrival of the haldi paste and
gifts from the groom's home. The pride of place amongst all the
gifts is a large rohu (fish)!
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Shaka
Paula
Amidst the chanting of Sanskrit shlokas (verses) by the priest,
seven married women or sumangalis adorn the bride with coral and
shell bangles. The groom sends an iron and silver entwined bangle
for the bride, symbolizing a tough and enduring relationship.
Boijotri
The wedding procession
The bride's maternal uncle comes to fetch the bridegroom, his
family and friends and escorts them to the wedding venue. The
groom is usually dressed in a sherwani (long silk coat) or suit
or even the traditional dhoti kurta. With the blowing of the conch,
the boijotri or baraat (wedding procession) sets off for the wedding
venue.
Potto
Bastra
Welcoming the groom
On his arrival, elders from the bride's family receive the groom
with the boron (straw colander) containing a lamp, honey, yogurt
and betel leaves. He is then presented with a shawl and a 'dhoti',
which he is supposed to wear for the wedding ceremony.
Shubh
Dhristi/Exchange of garlands
The couple exchanges garlands
The bride walks up to the groom, eyes lowered and goes around
him seven times, welcoming him and then stands in front of him.
Her face is covered with betel leaves, which are moved apart to
enable the couple to make eye contact for the shubh dhristi (auspicious
'viewing' of each other).
The couple exchanges garlands and the groom proceeds to the mandap
(marriage platform) followed by the bride.
Kanyadaan
Giving away the bride
Amongst Vedic chanting the bride's parents symbolically hands
over their most precious gift, their daughter, to the bridegroom.
Hasta
Milap
Tying of the marital knot
The hands of the couple are tied together in a symbolic knot and
the bride is officially handed over to her husband-to-be.
Saptapadi:
Seven steps around the sacred fire
The couple takes the seven steps of marriage around the sacred
fire. With every step the bride leaves her family and with the
seventh step, she finally becomes a member of her husband's family.
The bride and groom take a vow with each step.
Sindoordaan
The groom applies vermilion on the bride
Performed at the end of the marriage rituals; this ceremony is
performed by the groom when he becomes a husband. He applies the
sindoor or vermilion powder on the parting in the hair of his
bride to establish her marital status.
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Bashar
Ghar
The groom stays back in the bride's home
In accordance with Bengali tradition, after the wedding feast,
the groom's family, friends and guests leave but the groom stays
back in the bride's home. The following day is spent at his in-laws
amidst a lot of teasing and entertaining by the younger generation
in the bashar ghar or ceremonial room.
Vidaai
Bridal send off
In one of the most heartrending moments of her life, the vidaai,
the bride takes leave of her parental home. For her it symbolizes
the changing of her gotra (ancestral lineage) and adherence in
one day.
The
groom's father comes to fetch his son and daughter-in-law, carrying
gifts for them.
Bride's
Reception
Welcoming the bride in her marital home
Her mother-in-law gives the bride a warm welcome. On entering
the home, she gives her daughter-in-law a fish (in the olden days
is used to be a live fish!) to hold, while she waits for the milk
to boil over (symbolizing a house overflowing with food and affection).
The bride then steps onto a platter containing alta (vermilion
water) and walks into her new home leaving her foot imprints on
the floor of the house. She is then taken straight into the kitchen
and blessed by all the elders.
Bahu
Bhaat
Formal acceptance of the bride by her in-laws
The following day is a very important one for the bride as it
is on this day that she is formally accepted by all her husband's
relatives through the formality of the Bahu Bhaat.
The bride personally serves elaborate rice dishes to all the elderly
members of the family for lunch. It is at this time that the groom
affirms to take on the bhaat and kapood bhar nilan (literally
translated it means - taking on the responsibility of providing
food, shelter and clothing for his wife).
Reception
Post wedding celebrations
The groom's family generally hosts the wedding reception, which
is a formal function to introduce the newly weds to family and
friends.
Traditionally it was a simple domestic affair, but in modern times
it has become customary to host the reception in a hotel or banquet
hall and invite as many guests as the family can afford.
Phool
Sajjaya
The bride is bedecked with jewellery made from flowers
On the third night after the wedding ceremony, the bride is bedecked
with floral jewellery, a custom very special to the Bengali community.
The bridal bed is also decorated with flowers and the marriage
can now be consummated.
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